Posted by : Ruby Escalona Thursday, December 22, 2011

You know the saying, "some drink to remember, some drink to forget." Memories. Some you want to keep forever, some you just want out of your head. As I pick up my next book to read, I find myself drawn to "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. I know I've blogged before how much my emotions affect my reading habits? Well, my reading genre and habit has changed drastically again. I'm at a low point in my life. I just want to forget, but I don't want to - if you get my drift. I am a very complicated person to know. It is a bit embarassing as I announce to the whole world to read how I am feeling. But I am lonely, I am depressed, I am lost. I feel a bit like Bridget Jones when Mark Darcy had left her, and she still can't get over him. I'm not sure if many of you read the books that are about Bridget - if you haven't, do. So what is the point of this post? The point is, well, there is no point. I am just here to vent out what I am thinking. This is my blog anyway, I can say whatever I want to say. So forgive me if I can't review any books that deal with love (maybe except Eat, Pray, Love since that is about travel anyway) - I don't want anything to do with a story about girl meets boy, boy meets girl, they get close, they fall in love. Ugh. I'm cynical, Im annoyed, I'm upset. Can you guys suggest any books that do not have characters that fall in love??? YA or Chick Lit only puhlease. And no weird un-human characters: no vamps, no fallen angels, etc. I wanna deal with books that deal with real people only. Maybe I'll read Leviathan - or some of the nerdy books out there that make you think. Or one of the Paulo Coelho novels. Sometimes I feel like travel would be the only escape from what I am feeling. The feeling of just being free, seeing the world, meeting new people, being lost, then being found. I don't know. Maybe this is why I'm going to read Eat, Pray, Love - to find something I'm desperately looking for but yet I still don't know what I'm looking for. I think I read because I also want to get lost from reality. Then again, that's just me.

Maybe the only cure is to just let go and leave everything behind. Take the leap. I'm not getting any younger. I can't wait any longer. Maybe I look too highly of myself and think that what I'm asking for is reasonable. Maybe no one would really miss when I flew like the wind and disappeared to another country. Maybe that's the right step for me. Maybe, maybe, maybe. I think I need to find the new place I would proudly and happily call home eventually. Song for the moment - When We Were Young: Take That. The lyrics are calling out to me. I just hope this phase won't last long.

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